Am I ever going to be able to love him again the way I used to?
I don't think I'm *ever* going to stop running into these signs of his perversions. Just today, while having one of those lovely forced sequestrations so he can fraternize with his dog touching friend I found yet another remnant. An old CD marked so SO cleverly as "P*" now, WHAT could that be? Now I'm forced to figure out what to do about it.
I can:
A. Bitch a whole lot and open up the can of worms it is every time, despite the fact that it is probably old and I imagine he's trying to actually be good to woo me again.
B. Shut up and take it, but know inside that I'm a little bit *more* turned off than I used to be, which is almost impossible I'd imagine. Though I always used to think of myself as a sexual person, since the weight of him has settled around me I've been mostly like the Antarctic when it comes to him. Or anyone really. I am no longer titilated by the stuff in TV ads, no longer interested in the flash of sex trying to coerce me to eat, see, or buy something. It makes me feel a strange combination of free and dead.
I guess I'll stick with B. Its quieter and more self aware. Plus I have to get my wisdom tooth out tommorow, so I imagine the best way to prepare *isn't* a 12 hour blow out over pornography.
*sigh*
