I hate it when someone takes me off their favorites list. It's not about the popularity so much, it just activates all those old insecurity centers in my brain, and all of a sudden its 2nd grade and Kelly's telling me we can't be friends anymore. It was all that evil Jenna's fault, and it didn't last long, but regardless, the feeling stung then and it still stings now.
I sit and wonder, was I too offensive? Not offensive enough? Did they want witty and get too many days of melancholy? Maybe I smoke too much pot? Or am I just overall a repulsive jerk, even in cyber form? Should I just give up and define myself as such? In those few naked moments when I realize someone left I feel so exposed.
Good thing I don't over-think stuff huh? :P
Anyway, moving on, securities intact, I'm doing the birthday thing for my mom today. I finally get to see Tommy which is nice. I miss last year. I'm happy for all the things he's gotten, and his life is really much more on track, but it was nice to have those long summer days to help on the bog and mostly just get high and ponder our existance.
Now I must go pretty myself up for the public :)
