Ok, so here goes a real entry, full of real feelings and words even.
The last month has been surreal. I'm giving out too much information now, but my lovely red friend came today, and it made me realize that it has been *one* month since my new life started. (seeing as I have a relatively embarrasing memory of getting it right in the middle of our first fabulous day together) I can't quite believe that, but it's just true. Scary, and short, but true.
I love them though. Dearly. We've all become so close and we can even pass the silence together on early morning drives home from 2.00 breakfast in a far away town. Or come up with entire afternoons of nothing to pass away our lives. And drink. Oh boy can we drink. In some ways I know it's all doomed and it makes me sad, but like the tarot cards say, it's time to sieze the golden moment and *L*I*V*E* it.
Right now of course, I'm in a moment of solitary meditation. I've got the TV on in my newly rearranged living room that is dotted with reminders that they exist and are so so often here. I should be cleaning up the considerable mess we all made together during last night's "interesting" time. Or at least doing the god damned last minute online shopping I *have* to do before I'm living that re-occuring nightmare I used to have about waking up on Christmas morning without a present for anyone or a way to fix the problem. Instead though, I just keep sitting here at the computer, re-reading everyones away messages and wondering how I could really be -this- person with =this= life.
I think I might be happy though. Even if I'm the co-architect of evil, right now, I'm just trying to focus on the fact that I'm kinda ~happy~ :)
