So now I've done it...
Last night everything kind of got out of control. It started off well, but two drinks into the evening Danny was humping a beam and Sean and Chrissy were fighting once again. Eventually, after enough running around and bad feelings everything boiled over and they went home.
I'd been on and off the phone with Jon all night, and by the time the shit hit the fan he was itching to come over. I figured, why not. My friends, whom he can't quite get along with weren't here anymore, and I do, no matter how stupid it makes me, love him, so I said sure. And come over he did.
First, even though it was 5am, we got completely shitted, and then went upstairs. I never expected him to really keep any of his words, but this time...this time. I fell face first into his breathy words across my ear and his lips on my neck...and we were bad. Very very bad. I, unfortunatly, am ragging it at the moment, so we didn't get to have sex :( But, he still gave me an orgasm, and I totally blew him, despite my 4 day old lip piercing. Because I'm dumb. And he doesn't really love me.
Now, despite the fact that *technically* I've done nothing wrong, I feel like a dirty, dirty whore. I am now upgraded to actual dirty little secret, with touching privaleges. I still can't help but feel bad for his girlfriend though. Her existance on earth just used to piss me off, but now, i kind of feel bad for her :/ As I fell asleep cradled into that *one* spot on his chest and he stroked my hair I couldn't help thinking of her asleep somewhere in another state, maybe even dreaming of him.
