Despite my bright night dreams I've been peeling away the layers. Taking steps back until the hope that bloomed in my heart darkens into a pinprick and stops oozing. It helps to not see him, in a way. It scares the shit out of me that in 2 days I have to slap on my new/old representative and go back into the lions den. To nod and agree when he tells me that she likes me when I know thanks to the internet that she drips venom at my name, and dances in glee that she's "won", like it was a game. Maybe it is a game though, and if so clearly I dropped the ball before I left the field. I guess I need more practice before next time.
