I am grateful that my mother loves me and gave me 200 dollars at 8 am for a deposit on the emergency operation Toby needs. I am also grateful for the internet that let me google his symptoms and find out that what was wrong was potentially life threatening and needed vet care asap. He's going to be all right, and even got to keep his smelly towel with him so he can have a little bit of home while he goes through something that must be terrifying for a cat.
Of course I should be asleep right now, I'm supposed to be up in 6 hours to go to some meeting thingie with my boss, and I'll get to bed soon enough, but at the moment I have to de-stress. I know having a cat is not like actually having a living human being that you pushed through your loins, but still, I got a taste of what it feels like to be a parent last night I think. Finding out what was wrong at 5 am and knowing that the doctor wouldn't be open for 3 more hours, watching the minutes crawl by while watching them suffer, wanting to be able to take away the pain, to be willing to experience it for them if only that were possible, all these things echo what I imagine a parent must feel in the wee hours of the morning while their child lies sick and possibly near death, knowing for the moment you are totally helpless to do anything about it.
(Plus, it's *almost* my special time of the month, so I've been quite leaky over it all!)
