Everything is suspended. Answers have promised themselves for years and I have fucking believed in them time after time. Where are they? Things that seemed like answers at one point, the thunk yourself on the forehead and exclaim "why didn't i think of that before" moments, have all played themselves out and I still just don't know.
Despite that I'm not unhappy. Not really. I love kitties and fall afternoons and salad in a bag for dinner. I love dvr and my on demand that has decided, however temporarily, to just work again. I love my shitty little job that doesn't pay enough and provides me absolutely no chance for advancement. Of course I crave more than that subconsciously almost constantly but I've gotten used to it.
