Life's little correlations are always amusing. I spent the whole day yesterday thinking about my lone wolf status just to watch my dvred dexter and find that was the point of this weeks episode.
It isn't that I don't have relationships in my life, and it isn't that I haven't tried to be part of the wider world, but I've yet to find anything that really works for me besides being alone 90% of the time. Every tentative try I make is either completely crushed before it turns into anything at all, mutated into something sick and symbiotic, or completely blows up in my face after I've held on beyond the realm of natural possibility.
I guess I should stop fighting this. I have to let go of the idea that any answer that has ever worked for anyone else will work for me and forge something new somehow. On the saddish side that probably means "love" is off the table, or at least any wishy romantic idea of it I've cooked up. On the all together awesome side I think that means that I don't have to worry about being that crazy 450lb cat lady with the death row, psycho killer, pen pal fiance who shops at wal-mart in her see through speedos at 4am on a tuesday.
