This is starting to get lame.
I *know* better than to pay attention to my stupid desires. I've learned this lesson over and over again in many different guises, yet I can't exactly give it up. I'll swear to myself that I don't give a fuck but still somehow I'll find that I do. Queen of moving in through the back door I'll realize that while I've been planning how I'm going to organize something or what kind of new/used car I should look into I've also been quietly thinking about how great the young one's ass looked in those pants earlier. If I could be normal the thought would just end there and I'd have had the joy of the thought of a nice ass, or possibly go on to a full fledged sexual fantasy, but somehow instead it turns into a tug of war between all my pent up desire and my sense of useless obsession. Then I am re-reminded of the endless days of sexlessness and of my pitiful fruitless chases. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that the only chase I'm interested is in the one someone does after me, which while I won't rule anything out certainly just isn't on the table in this particular case.
My horoscope isn't helping: "If you are waiting for someone to enter your life, this is a fabulous transit for falling in love." Yeah, thanks. The part they forgot to mention is that this little falling in love episode probably will be one sided.
I guess I should just thank (insert deity here) that at least this one isn't a full on mamas boy sociopath vampire that I've invited in and then go buy myself a nice new vibrating plastic "boyfriend" to keep me occupied instead. I could even buy myself one of those real doll dudes and then I could admire AND grab it's custom ordered ass.
