Ahhhh
That feels better. I'm technically solvent again as soon as the check clears. I can pay my bills and keep my phone on etc. I can have have a happy holiday season. I can buy weed again! And since I've learned the hard way many times over, I can manage this windfall the right way, doling it out to myself in tiny pieces for what is necessary and avoiding the pitfalls (hopefully) of what is not.
I'm even giving my mother a loan. Not that I exactly want to, but hey she's done it for me a bunch of times, and of course it's the yehuda thing to do. It scares the shit out of me that my mother is coming to ME for a loan, but I guess this is why my grandmother left the money to me. Even as a nine year old she could see that I'd have more sense than my mother with money, despite being half made up of her. *shudder* God damn biology.
This of course is hard to explain to some people, especially those raring to pass their genes along, but except in those monthly instances where my internal clock tells me I should be making a baby, PRONTO, I'm rather reticent to pass on my genetic makeup to anyone else. Maybe if I succeed in finding my Adonis I'd take the gamble and hope that they favor him, but even then, what if they don't? Then they'd blame me, of course, and so would I. What's the point of that?
