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Diaryland

Forever swimming in the middle ground over here. Trying not to worry it into or out of something, just riding the crest of the wave. Is it wrong to just be had when he wants me and not get to have him when I want him? If I always want him anyway then at least I'm getting something some of the time, so I'm sort of fulfilled.

The internal perfection monster tells me that this is bullshit though. That in the perfect world I should wait for there would be titles and obligations, that integrity would demand that I hold out and not give into the temptations of the sometimes available flesh.

And of course her counterpart, the live-for-today, not worried about it, go with the flow earth mother (who I think is ovulating...) says go for it. You only live so long, etc. etc. amen.

Eh, I'll take it as it comes I guess, its a lonely world and sometimes hiding in some mans chest is the only place I feel anywhere within the stratosphere of anyone else.

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