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Diaryland

Ugh Ugh Ugh.

He's back talking to her again. Stupid. Since everything that has happened recently I shouldn't care, I'm doing my best not to care. Breaking the attachment is hard though. Almost impossible really with him still around, and him not being around isn't really an option. Every time we try to make the break it doesn't happen, I get all weepy and panic stricken because of all the losses that entails, all the changes it means I'd have to embrace.

Even if sitting here I know that it's probably the only way I won't care that he basically ignored me out the door to answer the phone, telling whoever it was (HER!!!) that he just woke up too. Who else does he know who works the night shift, who he'd be on the phone with now for over an hour (well at least I summize he is seeing as he hasn't answered my "I got here safe even though I sped like a demon because I was late" as well as my "hey innocent question01 designed to see if you're still unresponsive" texts. The only way I could let go of that assinine nonsense and get back to building a life on my own is separation I think. Maybe then I could even make room for a man who isn't going to drive me absolutely insane with his typical bullshit avoidant behavior.

Oh well, workies time :(

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