Words strung together in sentences. A rarity around here these days. What to say exactly? Most everything is good, ducky, fine, aok. I go to work, I like my work, my work is even mostly kind of like "home". Not in that I can do everything I want, but that its closer than I hoped to come.
The actual home front is good, if not the fireworks spectacular I hoped it would be once upon a long ago time. Ever since "the incident" things have climbed back towards normal and we've arrived there, platonic as ever there was. Yaaaaay.
But no, really its good. Sexually frustrating as hell, but with a dishes and laundry fairy hard at work while I'm hard at work. The money arrives in my hand at regular intervals, a modern miracle, and we still (much to my hearts pain) get along fabulously on a daily basis. Meals are eaten, tv shows get watched and I wonder: what is it exactly about me that makes every one of my important relationships turn into this?
Strictly speaking its what I want out of a life but PLUS FUCKING SEX PLEASE. NO, really, I'll calm down, but DAMN IT, I mean it!!! I need some sort of sustainable physical connection, and I'm never going to find it if I keep myself in this awful neutral mode, whether it be self imposed or not.
Even though I know the advice I need to take. I have to let it all go, worrying about it does nothing and also adds that exterior of desperation that is just oh-so attractive. I have to not think about hot kitchen floor sex. So thank god for the internet. The answer to our whole fucking add generation. Clips and themes, bits of one thing that goes on as long as your brain can take it chopped up and mixed back into itself with everything else you ever dreamed of, then BAM forgotten, except for random sunday afternoons when i'm rocking out to all your base and getting all excited because they have that old school star wars rap i remember from newgrounds in like 2000. Cuz I'm fucking old...(play again?...)
