I must avoid the trap of believing that this happy up-turn time with the roommate really means that the fairy tale is coming true. I want to enjoy the peace, the happy in the midst of chaos, but I don't want to be lulled into expecting that it will be something more than it is.
I know I have my lessons to learn and I hope that I am doing them justice and not just ignoring them in favor of a few kind words and warm moments. I'm keeping my expectations in check and trying to keep moving instead. No clinging, just accepting what happens and trying to remember it might disappear at any time.
Oh, and as a side note my moms hideous jackass of a boyfriend totally sexually harassed me yesterday. I stopped by because I was halfway through making dinner when I realized I had run out of butter. He tried to give me a hug on the way out and I figured "hey, I've been mean to this stupid old man for 20 years, I'll give him a hug, maybe it will improve my bad karma. As soon as his gross old body touched mine he grunted out in his disgusting way "yummy yummy"....totally mortified. That'll show me to try and be nice. Fuck that my friends.
And with that I have to go and deal with the vomit I just regurgitated into my mouth. Bye!
