Aww its so sad, no one reads this thing LoL. I had to pay 10 bucks to figure that out with my stats. Its ok though, I didn't really start it to publicize my life to the masses, I really just need to get down all these conflicting thoughts about my sucessful 3.5 year relationship, and the ancient yearnings that threaten to knock all the blocks to the ground :/
I just can't help it though...I wanted Jon forever and ever before I even met my bear, so even now after all this time with him there is still that dim little flame being fostered in the center of my heart, and it won't be put out as long as I can see his eyes, and give him hugs, and know that on some level I will always love him anyway. Thats the number one reason to pay attention to who you give your love to, because it may come back to bite you in your content little ass far into the future.
Last night my bear and I talked about all sorts of things, and I remember the time we were trying to seduce him and his girlfriend into having some group sex (strange right? I know, I don't know how I agreed, but I imagine it was the chance to finally have sex with him...we had been so close, a hair's breath away from it, yet it just never happened, and I'd probably give my first born to change that, to quell the desire, the imagined passion that never was). I had totally forgotten that happened though, it was during the first summer that we had been going out, and his girlfriend was all set to do it, she was rather "impressionable" and probably would have agreed to ritual murder if we had only asked. But Jon wouldn't, I don't know why. I wonder if it was me, if it was just too creepy for him, or what. Thinking back on it, its almost too creepy for me, so I could see that. Yet it remains a tantalizing memmory.
Odd.
