Oh mother of god! Talk about home movies :/ Well on the plus side, I am not as insane as I thought I may have been becoming. You know, as time passes and memories fade you begin to wonder "Did that happen that way? Do I remember it right? Maybe I'm mixing up my fantasy with my reality..." Well today I bit the bullet and bought one of those things to convert the little VHS-C tapes so you can watch them in a VCR.
I popped in our old tapes and...well...damn. I remember so many good times, its amazing how many that we got on tape, and seeing them I remembered many more times that I had forgotten. But one tape held my interest above them all...that one tape is the reason I spent 10 bucks to recover my old memories.
Remember in my last entry (like anyone reads these...I flatter myself so!) when I talked about that night between me and Jon when I was intoxicated and went over there and things happened? Well this is the video of that night. Nothing graphic, just the events leading up to, and then mr. man taped over the rest of it....i honestly wonder why he left what he did? Maybe for posterity? God I loved him so....is that sick? Yup, probably.
Any way, for the first time in 4 years I took a gander at it and well....damn. Just damn. Its definitive proof that it all *did* happen. Next time I look at him it'll be a wonder if he doesn't read it right off my face...if he isn't already hearing it screaming out of my head right now. He seems to have that ability...I think of him and he calls, he knows things I've never told him, never told anyone. Its just...creepy...yet comforting..I dont know, whatever our affinity is, its important.
Oh well, now i have to scramble to finish up my Spanish work. Thats the only class I'm going to end up keeping this semester...its honestly a shame, but what the fuck can I do? Alot more, surely. But I have been struck deep with my apathy disease, and I'm lucky i'm going to keep spanish..my brain keeps trying to get me to drop that too and I have to keep shutting it up. Even if I pass with a low C I still am done with it forever, and can focus on finishing the requirements for graduation. Jesus H.
