I screamed in my mind for Jon to call me...I think I made him crash his car...he only got into a fender bender w/ some guy on the avenue but still, I've got to wonder.
Anyway, besides talking about my undies and him coming to stay over and drink sometime soon we actually stumbled upon some pretty startling revelations. Those kind that are so simple and so true that when you finally figure them out you wonder why you never did before...it was so...*obvious*.
Like: We are always trying to live up to yesterdays vision of tommorow, and that is why we are always disapointed. Just think about that one for awhile...it applies across the board. Thats the basis of the problem with me and bear, or the problem with my life in general. I'm trying to make my life be whatever it is I thought it would be when I was younger. And not just what I thought it would be like, but how I would most like things to be.
But I have written to long and my throat feels like there is an angry small animal living in it, so I will close with my favorite part of the night. It was generally reached as a consensus between us three, that if we had a choice we would live like this:
I would live in a small cottage and spend my days cooking a lavish dinners for the loves of my life that consist of red meat and potatos accompanied by mugs of mead, and tending to children and animals around the house. I would wear wonderful period peices with lace up boddices and lots of lace and buckles and things. My loves would be blacksmiths out in a shop they'd set out somewhere near the road. They'd make all sorts of provisions and weapons, and at times would even host a jousting match for the people passing by to watch. At the end of the day they'd return to the house and we'd eat, then retire to our chambers for raunchy satisfying sex.
And thats how bear Jon and I would live, were it another time. Torrid and trashy no? :)
