Hurrah for arguments!
So he heard me go outside to talk to Tommy on the phone and let off a little steam, so he comes out to listen and gets all pissy.
Then we argue, and argue some more. I realize in alot of ways I'm Harper from Angels in America...I don't get out enough, and I have emotional problems. Both seem to be symptoms of him, however he isn't gay. A couple of the guys in his band are though, and I find that exceptionally tollerant of him, but that just muddies the waters by reminding me of things that I don't hate
You know, it's like I'm completely full of the same fear that makes my mother stay with frank forever. And if I wrestle with it all day, or if I just give up and medicate it away, in the end I'm just that same little ball of terror.
Although, even if its only out of fear of death, he has actually become decent to her in recent times, giving her her support and good feelings, at least according to her. Maybe I'm praying there is a payoff at the end. Like if I really stay long enough the good parts of him that I really have seen before will conquer the asshole selfcenteredness inside.
Most of the time that just seems like wishfull thinking though, but I still can't kick myself into gear.
