No matter how jaded I try to pretend I can be this is still an open fucking wound...
I feel completely fucked up. I've totally blown off a sleep schedual, instead I just pass out when I've finally done enough screaming, crying, laughing, and general fit throwing.
Thus I find myself at 5:45 am sitting up alone in the silent dark drinking mad dog 20/20 and trying to remember what, if anything, is the purpose of all of this bullshit.
I feel bad because I blew everyone and everything off today. I slept and ignored all phones and just played dead. I had all sorts of crazy dreams, in space age wal-marts surrounded by broken down cities and aging gothic gardens. Combination of names and faces, things overlapping and changing.
I think this may be the begining of the end.
