So later today (after sleep) Jon is coming over to "hang out". *sigh*
I wish I didn't want to do horribly dirty things to him. I don't think I will, but the wanting to makes not doing it pretty fucking hard. Especially when I never get laid and he's my only window of opportunity at the moment.
But fuck that shit. I don't care if the sex *was* that good, or if at this point sex with a fucking cactus is starting to look like a bright idea, I will not lower myself to being his concubine. Not just for the cheap thrill of feeling wanted for a moment.
(Please jesus christ on a crutch let me actually -mean- this as much tommorow when i'm in his chemical presence as I do right now when I'm in my own sacred space)
