The electromagnetics around here are already starting to lose their shit. My computer monitor just half shut itself off then came roaring back, the sound from the tv is wonky, and the air is humid and conducting. I *know* there is a mental storm on the horizon.
Her arrival is impending. Yehuda thinks this is hilarious. I must share my space with her, I must maintain my even levels with her. I must not bitch, or cry, or stomp, or whine, or let the lightning bolts out. I must smoke weed, and not worry that now I have to get HER high too. I must drink alcohol, but keep my mask cemented on so I don't accidentally expose my truth to either of the true-love unit. I must maintain in the face of "people" and allow them into my sacred motherfucking space. How did I get here? Why did I arrange for all this?
See, now Yehuda's laughing again. All that alone time spent meditating and reading was just a prelude to this implosion. Somehow by wanting just a little bit i pushed that first domino over, and now I am here with them all in my lap.
I guess I can't dwell. Here's to the fucking eternal truth of letting it go.
