So things are...not good.
I woke up to the sound of Scott near my bed, and the only thing of interest over there is the weed. Or my journal, but a. I don't think he knows it's there and b. I don't think he gives a particular shit. So what was he up to? What indeed. Of course I know, and I think he knows I know, but at the moment he's downstairs having an impromptu testosterone fest. I guess there's a "big talk" coming.
I thought this would be something I could deal with. More and more it looks like a stupid, losing proposition. The best thing I can say it's done for me is get Jon jealous and ready to come fuck me. WoW. How awesome. Otherwise it's been a waste of money, time, and mostly my stupid reaching heart. The trick will be to get through it without deciding I'm the bigger asshole.
Anyway, I have distractions to keep me busy till then. The big mystery is will I let this turn out like years w/ jc and stuff my anger back under familiarity and routine? Or will I get my reserve set out of their bag and give him the talk? I guess I'll have to. We'll see.
