Gah, day one of the evil craft fair down.
From what I've seen so far some of our worries were very well founded. From the looks of lots of these people they've been at it all year (like i suppose would have been a *good* idea) and they've got really gorgeous displays and bunches of various kinds of wonderful. Still, i bet my mom will hold her own with the jellies, so we'll wait and see.
I've spent all day feeling like the giantest bitch from hell. My tooth is throbbing so I'm sure i'm not being as kind as I could be, but I just couldnt take my mothers 56 year old friend becky and her marginally retarted 40 year old boyfriend who couldn't stop asking if we wanted to use his cart that he made for free out of stuff JC Penny was throwing away. We finally just used the fucking thing. It did shorten the trip, but not having his ass to put up with would have been better.
It got me to thinking (what doesn't these days?) about all the different kinds of settling people do. Becky is no prize. Neither is the boyfriend. So at some point they both had to own up to the fact that *this* was the best they could do.
Maybe its too early, but I feel like thats what it could be for me and my bear. I hate to admit something so ugly though. It hasn't always been so, I used to feel so lucky to be with him...
Oh yeah, that reminds me again, of a side note. I am going to transcribe some of the old diaries I was able to dig up, but in another diary all together, just for the sake of not cluttering this one up and being less confusing. If I don't write that down here I'll never remember. And if anyone cares, as soon as I actually *do* it, i'll add the link :)...
Anyway, as those entires will show, I really used to feel lucky and special and all those kinda of joyousness that tellevision had made me come to expect. I just didn't expect it to become like this.
Argh, I've gone on bitching too long yet again. I hate these days. I'm sitting here all alone again, choosing to ignore my demons and trying to distract myself.
