The essence of the problem is thus:
Mothers are the most influential people in our lives. They are the home of everything beautiful and wonderful and natural about the world. If they work right that is. If they work wrong...
Well, then you're left with this kind of situation. His mother is irrational and overbearing. Everything must be her way. She's essentially ruined every major holiday for the last 4 years I've been dating him, including even the first one where she summoned him back just as Thanksgiving dinner was about to be put on the table. I had to get back in my car and drive him 30 minutes home, and then 30 minutes back. (Plus I ran out of gas on the way home...I should have taken that as an OMEN, but I didn't.)
This Christmas shall be no different. Since yesterday when she hung up upon hearing about our Christmas plans I decided to do the diplomatic (if slightly less than honest) thing. I sent her an email feigning ignorance as to the status of "plans" and suggested my version of a happy, fair holiday. Christmas eve would be spent with them, a portion of the afternoon or later on in the evening to be time for presents and decorating the tree, and the rest of the time at the annual family fest at the grandfathers. Then Christmas day with my mother for presents and the meal. With an offer to join us for that meal, plus the offer to switch off next year for more fairness.
I got back in reply a terse little note that basically said "Christmas day is family time, as such please come then". You know, fuck you, thanks. What I want to know is in what family (Musilim, Jew, Pagan etc. families excluded, and even then, just substitute your favorite holiday for "C(onsumer)mas") *doesn't* consider Christmas day the "Family" day?
ARGH. So now, its going to start world war III. Because he had to be raised by this woman, if this is the last straw for me, its a long way past sane for him. I feel for him, I really do. With a mother like that its a real suprise to me that he isn't more fucked up than he is. He's following her dreams for him. She was never supposed to have children. I love him with all of my heart, and I'm glad that he exists, but why her? WHY WHY WHY?
I know, I know, I'd think I was over reacting too. She *did* just buy us that bed (but she's going to use it as colateral, you just watch...guilt buttons popping out all over) and everyone thinks their mother-in-law is the worst. But this one is *actually* crazy. Both of her sisters are absolutely nuts. The woman comes over and tells me how crazy her sisters are, never noticing the same traits in herself.
If only people came with warning labels. If that lonely night in that club there had been a little neon sign that said "Completely bat-shit mother, will complicate life *for sure*. Use caution" maybe...just maybe I wouldn't have been so damn eager.
The what-if's are drowning me. Merry-Fuckin-Christmas.
