So its a new day.
The kitten lived.
Beth Karas is back on TV.
My relationship on the other hand may actually be over. I'll never kick him out, and I doubt he'd leave me, but the few strands that have been holding us together are breaking one by one.
Screaming fights all night long. I love him, but I don't love the way he treats me. I do *everything* for him, and when I need him to be a little self-less and love me he's out watching movies with his fucking friends.
That just about sums it all up, and I'm sick of it. It's sad that mostly I don't want to break up because untangling our lives will be so long and costly.
Maybe we could try counseling? I think that maybe he's just not for me. I'm certainly for him, who wouldn't want a free maid/nanny/nurse. What he gives me I can't even find anymore. It used to be a sense that I was worth something, but now I reflect on what I've become and I feel fucking worthless.
Back to housework and schoolwork (which in his words I don't do because "all you do all day is smoke pot and play videogames" while he has to work a job...like he didn't just now get this job after 4 years of my non-job having ass supporting us on school grants and what I could magically pull out of my ass...while all he did was smoke pot, play guitar, and play video games...my blood boils)
