This is harder than I thought it would be.
Even on the edge of desctruction I can't quite seem to detonate. Every day its a little closer to blowing up, but it always seems to fizzle out. I've almost banished him about a million times between friday night and today, and still he's here. I have no idea what's right anymore anyway.
On the honest score card of things, he's a really good friend. We used to be empassioned lovers, but it just seems to have died. I tried to be as understanding as I could about his deviant desires and pornography consumption, but in the end it just was too much for me. That on top of his neglectful manner and his complete lack of sexual attention just made my blood boil.
But if he goes I truly wil miss him, yet in a very real way we're already gone to each other. He likes to pretend we could still be friends, but how often does that ever *really* work? I've played that game before, and let me tell you, the first time he said any casual comment including the phrase "my girlfriend" I'd snap. I know myself at least.
I'm proud of myself for at least not backing down from saying the things I've meant to say to him. I haven't held back and I've let him know exactly how I feel about alot of things. It hasn't exactly done all that much good at making him leave or change, but I'm taking steps in the right direction anyway.
