A question that has been haunting me a bit: What do you do when you've come full circle?
I can't find my journal from 5 years ago this month (which is a fact that disconcerts me to a certain level) but I know it was around this time that it was all coming together before. Now all of a sudden I stand at the edge of a completed loop that I never really believed I'd come to see.
I feel like after years in the dark I'm back at the start of something, like someone has given me the closest thing possible to my wish of going back in time to that pre-election fall of 2000. And I so very much don't want to fuck it up this time around.
I'm mostly feeling my way through this whole experiance. Last time I fell victim to my insecurities...this time, while I haven't exactly quelled them, I've at least subdued them from dictating my every decision. It may not seem like a whole lot, but having sex with Jon was an act of considerable courage on alot of levels, at least as far as insecurity is concerned. And I still did it anyway, and I ended up having the time of my life, as soon as I got over myself (as much as I could at least).
That's something :)
