Well, I did dig up that little black book, and boy oh boy do I remember why the FUCK it is I don't get myself tangled up with him.
I feel so fucking stupid. Add to that, I'm hormonal, so I end up doing things like crying to that fucking Haddaway song "what is love". Pathetic, I know.
That means the good ole red flood is iminent, as I don't usually go into theatrics over cheesy 90's songs (ok, well at least not full blown, tears and all, theatrics) and that does re-affirm my test that I am indeed not carrying his child. Which is good. But with the mood I'm in, I might have liked to scare him a bit.
It wouldn't have done any good, he can see straight through me. It's most of why I love him, and all of why I hate him.
But now I've completely lost all my steam. <3 Jared Leto, and thank god for his band. He was my first (albeit televison) guitar god fantasy boyfriend...how typical that jon would find him for me much later and deliver him with songs of my entire being:
A Beautiful Lie
lie awake in bed at night
and think about your life
do you want to be different?
try to let go of the truth
the battles of your youth
'cause this is just a game
it's a beautiful lie
it's a perfect denial
such a beautiful lie to believe in
so beautiful, beautiful lie
makes me
its time to forget about the past
to wash away what happened last
hide behind an empty face
don't ask too much the same
'cause this is just a game
