I had myself all set up to womb it tonight, but I decided to go with my gut and play the social card when it offered itself up on my answering machine. All the signs today had pointed to a yes there anyway, so I figured it couldn't hurt to give it the old "why the fuck not" try.
It was the late shift of the usual: beer + fire/kate's house = social. I got some good enough Jon dirt though, and I got to sow some seeds of my discontent into the rumor mill. I predict the drama will be going up a notch one of these days. Maybe not of course, they may keep their mouths shut, but in this town? I doubt it.
I had almost forgoten that one of the key survival skills as the "other" woman is to open myself up socially to Jon's circle. Not that I'm the "other" woman really. I never have been, except in some sick part of both of our minds. But still, the tactics are the same...Re-learn social skills. Hang out with people. Wait endlessly for him to finally attend something. Remain close enough to him to curry favor. Refrain from pitching too many fits. Make suggestive comments often enough to keep him on his toes. Pretend not to die inside when he leaves early to fuck his girlfriend and you're stuck giving cigarettes to people to drunk/poor/annoying to have their own for the rest of your night. Finally eject said people from house. Retire alone to bed to masturbate. (wash-rinse-repeat!)
Also, as a side note, it was weirdly good to see Danny with his girlfriend. They'd been together for 5 years as of November 1st. They call each other "bunny". It so could have been me and JC if just...something. But it isn't, and I'm not as fucked up feeling about it as I could be. I really do miss him, but we weren't right for each other. Yet anyway. I still think he and I would have been great at old age together, but I don't even really see myself getting there. But if I did, who knows?
But now it's very very late or early or whatever, and I have to get some sort of semblance of sleep before the world explodes on me again like it threatened to do.
