Last night I saw JC in a parking lot. I always have that kind of luck. For some reason, me, him, Jon, Tommy...we all revolve around some secret axis that keeps putting us in each other's paths.
For some reason unknown to me he was in a suit when I saw him, and damn did he look good. It overwhelmed me, remembering that I could feel that way about him. I miss him so fucking much. He wasn't perfect, or even good for me really, but I did love him, even if sometimes I try to convince myself I didn't. His absence is like that poem says, a hole that I can manage to avoid during the day but fall aching back into at night. I've started crying myself to sleep again. I had thought that was over long ago.
Of course, it could always be these fucking hormones. It's getting to be that time of the month again, and I find that without the birth control pills I'm moody like I was when I was 14. Scary stuff.
