I was just trying to have a nice relaxing Sunday morning, a cup of (ass old because I have to go shopping SOON) coffee and the first smoke of the day (and probably the last till night cuz I'm being "conservative" so I can stretch both kinds of the green stuff I need to get by) and I'm all sorts of achy because I - get this - actually washed the floor yesterday. Which of course was preceded by 100 other little chores you have to do to get down to that level, and once you've done that it's impossible not to just clean everything else that pops out at you as gross.
So yeah, just trying to have a quiet morning when bam: 10am rolls around (I know I'm awake...weird) and the dirtbikes start up. Then all the dogs next door start up with their yapping and the neighbor comes out and starts yelling which only makes them angrier and yelpier. 15 minutes later I come out to see if the cats are still all there and if the dogs have shut up yet and I'm just in time to see a car pull in and stop over by the resevoir.
So I shuffle all the cats indoors, and sneak down into the yard to peer around trees and figure out who it is. All the while I hear rustling in the woods, but I figure that it's probably the birds escaping the big seed lady or the raccoons taking their "stay the fuck out of my yard" offering, and when I finally make it down there I see that the fisherman is the guy who build my mom's doggy prison. Since he has a free Patty-pass I go back up to the house, and I realize I also hear the neighbor yelling his head off. The same thing over and over. I swear it sounded like "Jeeeesus" and at first I thought he had finally gone off the christian deep end, but then I realized he was probably yelling for one of his dogs that got loose...which was probably what was rustling around in the woods eating the rotten food I put out for the raccoons.
So I hightailed it back in the house, closed and locked the doors and windows and am debating if I should turn on the TV, all so I can pretend I don't hear him if he comes calling to see if I know about his dog. What a relaxing way to start the day ;P
On a serious note though I've been using it all as a way to practice "letting go". Every time I get worked up about the bikers, or Patty's inability to say no, or the encroaching McMansionites I wish them the best instead, and let go of my anger/anxiety/boiling hatred. It's shaky going sometimes, but it's helping. I used to let an hour like this kill the other 23 of the day, but by barfing it up here and then letting it go I feel alot better, and since we're all really just living inside our own heads every day, if I make the time in that space nicer then I've accomplished my main goal :)
