I feel some plague coming on. I knew the interaction with humans would eventually catch up with me. I should be sleeping seeing as I should be up for work in 8 hours and haven't been to bed yet after last night.
I feel the urge to communicate, but I can't grab the words to say the things that are swirling around. Things in my life are changing, and i love/hate it. I can't grasp if I'll get what I want, but some days I don't even know what that might be beyond my base desires, and those seem destined to go unfulfilled.
In my pessimistic moments I see no hopeful signs and start to climb up out of this dangerous hole. Then I overhear him say my name to someone else and I fall in deeper than ever. The wiser, been-there-done-that version of myself sits in the back alternately smirking and grumbling while the exploding star heart that believes I have a shot in hell twinkles behind my closed eyes.
