Two quick things to say before I go change and pretend to be a "normal" person:
1. A complex bugger, that one that I always end up bitching about in here isn't really always a problem. Despite the problems, he's the kind of person that, on his way out the door at 4am to make sure his sisters kids get on the bus since she's going through some divorce drama, and takes the time out to brush off my car and calls me to remind me to get air since the roads are bad.
Without getting too wordy since I'm already 2 minutes late to start changing (god I hate scheduals....grrr) these are the reasons I'm so stuck in this mire over him. He actually does that "looking out for you" think that fairy tales tell you dudes will do, and sometimes if you're lucky like daddies did when you were oh so small and they apparently ran the universe with your safety in mind.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that once a man came onto my scene that seemed to both want to have sex with me (because we were having sex, I stopped letting the "seemed" part remain theoretical to try and weed out situations like the one I've gone and stuck myself into) and actually gave a shit about my general wellbeing that I fell foolishly for him.
Add to that the lost week, which I am starting to wonder about, although I have outside touchstones to remind me that it DID SO FUCKING HAPPEN, and you wonder why I'm starting to go crazy. Especially since I manned up, did the hard thing, had the icky talks, and am rewarded for all that with "yeah just don't feel the same, but you know, I still want to be best friends".
On that note:
2. I have begun an intense drunken affair with myself. I got myself a couple of Christmas indulgences, and I've been taking quite a few moments to myself these last few days. It definitly helps to deal withe frustration from mr. helpful, but it's also really depressing in it's own way. The nice thing? The courses of hormones I've been giving myself have helped clear up the ever worsening zits on my chin. YaY! Ok, now I'm 10 minutes late, gah. Run Run Run
