Jesus, I have to stop listening to these old songs in the middle of the night.
Hed PE...that defined an entire era of my life, almost 4 years ago now...why cling to these things? Was I happy then? I think I look back and romanticize the past, gloss over the ugly black parts and pretend everything is alright.
Jon called me back tonight, but I didn't answer it because we were eating dinner. I promised myself I'd call him back when we were done, but then I didn't...I don't know why. I go back and forth on the issue of him, constantly. I wish my foolish heart hadn't become entangled with him. I've learned from Tommy that I can overcome and obsession, an addiction, but with Jon it seems different.
I feel like if just one thing had been different, then everything would be different now. For the worse I imagine, but every once in awhile I wonder...
I am a terrible person.
Every day.
